I really dislike the fact that this is a topic of discussion in the Natural Hair Community.
...But it is isn't it?
Since returning natural in 2013 I've encountered these question without fail at least once every two weeks.
"Is Natural Hair Professional?"
"How do I make my natural hair look professional?"
....and my least favorite
"Should I go to my job interview with a weave and bust out my natural hair once I'm hired?"
These are questions that I see all the time and why? WHY is it even a thought that someone would deny you employment NOT because of your lack of experience or qualifications.. but because your hair texture is different from theirs.
Alright to be honest as an African American Woman I've been nervous on job interviews and first impressions matters a lot to me. I make it a rule to wear slacks but never tight fitting, I prefer button blouses but I NEVER show cleavage. I just make sure I don't offend anyone with my attire. Those are things everyone should be concerned about though... yet as a person of color there's always this little voice in the back of my head that whispers "If the manager doesn't like black people you're screwed!" Honestly speaking the manager could be Black themselves and STILL have a problem with the fact that you're Black too!
So when you return natural you're not only dealing with common interview nerves of being a person of African decent, you're dealing with that on top of your natural hair insecurities and the ignorance of others and the way they view your natural hair.
In Corporate America you have some basic rules to acceptably groomed hair.
1. Must be clean
2. Should be natural in color (no pink, blues, purples etc.)
3. Should be done in a manner that is neat and orderly
I mean those are your hard core basics. So with that being said do you believe your natural hair is suited for Corporate America? Still No? Well... Why would YOU believe it's okay to have natural hair in Corporate America anyway? You've been taught that you should always hide it with a relaxer! Cover it up with weaves and wigs for months at a time! Our natural texture has become as private to the Black Woman as her Bra and Panties! Think about it... before a black woman is due for her touch up or weave installation what do you see her wearing OUTSIDE? A head scarf right? As if she's not completely put together until she has those naps covered up!
Let me calm down... My point is when we decide to go to interviews for that perfect job the last thing we should be feeling is imperfect about our natural selves. Because beyond the interview and job... you still EXIST as who you were born to be. Why think for a second that your natural self in all it's glory is offensive?
My final say... Your professional life is a RELATIONSHIP. If that relationship is built on a lie or even the slightest of insecurities you'll never gain the respect and peace of mind we should ALL have in our lives. So I say to you my sister... walk into that interview with class, respect and qualifications. THAT'S what will get you the job. Your hair and attire should reflect your personal values as well as your personality. If you believe you weren't hired based on the texture of you hair... then you should be glad not to be apart of such a discriminatory organization. They just missed out on an exceptional asset!
Don't be fake!
.... Be YOU!
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Just Another Dependency...
Alright... You may get offended...
Let me just start out by saying that in no way am I posting this out of ignorance or hate... But I don't buy into the hype of fake hair being "Protective". THERE I said it!
That being said please allow me to elaborate. Back in my relaxed days I prided myself as being a black girl with fairly long relaxed hair. I use to snicker and have little to no respect for women who always wore weaves and wigs. Aside from a person being ill and actually needing a wig, I felt like it was abused in my community. I of course never saw a problem with braids of any kind because although I wasn't conscious about my African culture at the time I was still vaguely aware that braids were a part of it. Yet when I was relaxed I seldom wore 'fake hair' I can count on one hand how many times I actually wore a weave (twice) and I can count on one hand how many wigs I've ever owned... Probably four.
So returning natural not only appealed to my 'above it all attitude' of not being dependent on fake hair. It boosted my confidence for displaying my real texture. I was very proud to be natural. Then the forums happened. I subscribed and 'Liked' a few well known and respectable natural hair forums and I learned about "protective styling" I discovered that NO NO NO... these women aren't wearing weave because they were obsessed with textures other than their own... they wore it to "protect" their OWN hair! Or so it's what we're all lead to believe... Don't get me wrong the natural hair community is very supportive in giving options and advice to new naturals struggling with styling idea's especially when you did the 'Big Chop' like me. Yet to say to someone who just chopped their relaxed hair off in order to EMBRACE their natural texture.. they should just cover it up with fake hair.. well... it creates a little problem. It defeats the whole purpose doesn't it?
Kinda like the whole shave your eyebrows off and draw on new ones analogy.
Speaking for myself. I discovered I could wear fake hair and not be ashamed of it because I was actually doing it for very "hair healthy" reasons... I went buck wild with protective styling!!! I got my 1st protective style a month after I chopped, kind of to prove to myself I could wear my short dry hair in public for a full month without covering it. After that month I got Senegalese twist installed... by the Africans on 125th street.... IT WAS TORTURE! Not only did they rake through my course, kinky hair with a rat tail comb but they pulled at my hair line like they were trying to give me a face lift! And I say 'they' because it was TWO women doing my hair at the same time! When I left I almost felt the need to ask how long will I be in recovery from the pain! Needless to say I never got my hair professionally done after that and decided to learn how to do protective styling on my own at YouTube University.
So I did every style that tickled my fancy. I got so good I started doing other naturals hair and charged them for it! I got so good... I didn't know what the hell to do with my own natural hair every time I took down a "protective style". I didn't even realize I was missing the whole point in returning natural. I was supposed to be learning my hair. Loving my hair and focusing on maintaining it on my own. I was doing so much protective styling with fake hair that when it came down to styling my own hair I began to feel intimidated and dreaded the whole process!
Not to mention it seemed as if protective styling is always geared towards or shall I say MARKETED towards kinkier textured naturals. You never see anyone suggesting naturals with Type 2A through 3C textures to do protective styling with fake hair. Instead they tell 'em "oh just throw your hair into a messy bun". Well news flash... type four naturals can wear messy buns too! But instead we're told to get Braids and Sew In's and whatever else is common to black girls that wear fake hair. It's like the whole natural hair industry wanted us to leave relaxers and flock to fake hair! Just another dependency if you ask me.
That's not what I wanted... that was never the main objective for me. But I continued protective styling with fake hair anyway. What can I say I was enchanted by the versatility of colors and textures. Well one day I did a crochet style with straight hair and I hated it. It kept falling all over my face when I washed dishes... it made my neck hot and irritable. I just couldn't deal with that texture at all! So after a very long week I took the style down and to my shock and disgust it took a nice little chunk of my natural hair with it! I was so livid, so shocked and just plain confused that I could lose hair while trying to protect it!!! WTF!
That's when I started weighing the Pro's and the Con's!!
I'll list the Con's of wearing fake hair while protective styling first:
1. Can be very drying to your natural hair
2. Can cause tension on your hair line and scalp
3. Can be very irritating to the skin and scalp
4. In most cases added hair can be pricey
5. You're not able to thoroughly care for the length of your hair during the time it's in the style
6. You're depriving yourself of learning how to style and manage your natural texture (new naturals)
7. As our hair naturally sheds it's being tangled around hair that isn't ready to shed thus causing extra shedding once the style is taken down
8. Most extensions and weaves are protected and coated with harmful chemicals/sprays that wasn't made with sensitivity toward natural hair
9. In some cases fake hair may create a dependency with naturals who aren't completely comfortable with their own natural textures.
That being said... It's only fair I list the Pro's of protective styling with fake hair;
1. Versatility of colors and textures
.........................................................................................................................................
Now I know some of you can list a whole bunch of pro's about protective styling with fake hair but before you start talking about how it gives you a break from styling and it's an easy way of managing your hair while it grows... Let me just let you in on a secret that most naturals don't talk about...
PSSST!! You can do protective styling with your own hair.
You don't have to suffer through an unhealthy, stressful process of weave installments, extensions and wigs with combs that hurt in order to 'protect' your hair. As long as your ends are tucked away you're basically set. If you need a style that you can keep in for a month then you can do box braids, mini twist, and cornrows with your own hair if it's long enough. And if you're in the TWA phase then you have it made Sis! All you need is a good sealant to lock in that moisture from your spray bottle and you're good to Go! Now I'm not writing this to talk anyone into leaving fake hair behind. That's not my purpose... It would be nice... But I believe adults will do what they believe is best for them even if you don't think it's best for you.
I'm happy with my decision to stop wearing fake hair because I have three little girls who says they never want to wear fake hair. They believe it's not as beautiful as their own hair. They know their hair can be managed and protected without it, and they prefer it that way. They know what it looks like for someone to have no edges... to see a woman with the saaaaame wig on every day for a straight month... sometimes two. My girls don't understand that... And if I'm being a good enough roll model they'll never have to.
Let me just start out by saying that in no way am I posting this out of ignorance or hate... But I don't buy into the hype of fake hair being "Protective". THERE I said it!
That being said please allow me to elaborate. Back in my relaxed days I prided myself as being a black girl with fairly long relaxed hair. I use to snicker and have little to no respect for women who always wore weaves and wigs. Aside from a person being ill and actually needing a wig, I felt like it was abused in my community. I of course never saw a problem with braids of any kind because although I wasn't conscious about my African culture at the time I was still vaguely aware that braids were a part of it. Yet when I was relaxed I seldom wore 'fake hair' I can count on one hand how many times I actually wore a weave (twice) and I can count on one hand how many wigs I've ever owned... Probably four.
So returning natural not only appealed to my 'above it all attitude' of not being dependent on fake hair. It boosted my confidence for displaying my real texture. I was very proud to be natural. Then the forums happened. I subscribed and 'Liked' a few well known and respectable natural hair forums and I learned about "protective styling" I discovered that NO NO NO... these women aren't wearing weave because they were obsessed with textures other than their own... they wore it to "protect" their OWN hair! Or so it's what we're all lead to believe... Don't get me wrong the natural hair community is very supportive in giving options and advice to new naturals struggling with styling idea's especially when you did the 'Big Chop' like me. Yet to say to someone who just chopped their relaxed hair off in order to EMBRACE their natural texture.. they should just cover it up with fake hair.. well... it creates a little problem. It defeats the whole purpose doesn't it?
Kinda like the whole shave your eyebrows off and draw on new ones analogy.
Speaking for myself. I discovered I could wear fake hair and not be ashamed of it because I was actually doing it for very "hair healthy" reasons... I went buck wild with protective styling!!! I got my 1st protective style a month after I chopped, kind of to prove to myself I could wear my short dry hair in public for a full month without covering it. After that month I got Senegalese twist installed... by the Africans on 125th street.... IT WAS TORTURE! Not only did they rake through my course, kinky hair with a rat tail comb but they pulled at my hair line like they were trying to give me a face lift! And I say 'they' because it was TWO women doing my hair at the same time! When I left I almost felt the need to ask how long will I be in recovery from the pain! Needless to say I never got my hair professionally done after that and decided to learn how to do protective styling on my own at YouTube University.
So I did every style that tickled my fancy. I got so good I started doing other naturals hair and charged them for it! I got so good... I didn't know what the hell to do with my own natural hair every time I took down a "protective style". I didn't even realize I was missing the whole point in returning natural. I was supposed to be learning my hair. Loving my hair and focusing on maintaining it on my own. I was doing so much protective styling with fake hair that when it came down to styling my own hair I began to feel intimidated and dreaded the whole process!
Not to mention it seemed as if protective styling is always geared towards or shall I say MARKETED towards kinkier textured naturals. You never see anyone suggesting naturals with Type 2A through 3C textures to do protective styling with fake hair. Instead they tell 'em "oh just throw your hair into a messy bun". Well news flash... type four naturals can wear messy buns too! But instead we're told to get Braids and Sew In's and whatever else is common to black girls that wear fake hair. It's like the whole natural hair industry wanted us to leave relaxers and flock to fake hair! Just another dependency if you ask me.
That's not what I wanted... that was never the main objective for me. But I continued protective styling with fake hair anyway. What can I say I was enchanted by the versatility of colors and textures. Well one day I did a crochet style with straight hair and I hated it. It kept falling all over my face when I washed dishes... it made my neck hot and irritable. I just couldn't deal with that texture at all! So after a very long week I took the style down and to my shock and disgust it took a nice little chunk of my natural hair with it! I was so livid, so shocked and just plain confused that I could lose hair while trying to protect it!!! WTF!
That's when I started weighing the Pro's and the Con's!!
I'll list the Con's of wearing fake hair while protective styling first:
1. Can be very drying to your natural hair
2. Can cause tension on your hair line and scalp
3. Can be very irritating to the skin and scalp
4. In most cases added hair can be pricey
5. You're not able to thoroughly care for the length of your hair during the time it's in the style
6. You're depriving yourself of learning how to style and manage your natural texture (new naturals)
7. As our hair naturally sheds it's being tangled around hair that isn't ready to shed thus causing extra shedding once the style is taken down
8. Most extensions and weaves are protected and coated with harmful chemicals/sprays that wasn't made with sensitivity toward natural hair
9. In some cases fake hair may create a dependency with naturals who aren't completely comfortable with their own natural textures.
That being said... It's only fair I list the Pro's of protective styling with fake hair;
1. Versatility of colors and textures
.........................................................................................................................................
Now I know some of you can list a whole bunch of pro's about protective styling with fake hair but before you start talking about how it gives you a break from styling and it's an easy way of managing your hair while it grows... Let me just let you in on a secret that most naturals don't talk about...
PSSST!! You can do protective styling with your own hair.
You don't have to suffer through an unhealthy, stressful process of weave installments, extensions and wigs with combs that hurt in order to 'protect' your hair. As long as your ends are tucked away you're basically set. If you need a style that you can keep in for a month then you can do box braids, mini twist, and cornrows with your own hair if it's long enough. And if you're in the TWA phase then you have it made Sis! All you need is a good sealant to lock in that moisture from your spray bottle and you're good to Go! Now I'm not writing this to talk anyone into leaving fake hair behind. That's not my purpose... It would be nice... But I believe adults will do what they believe is best for them even if you don't think it's best for you.
I'm happy with my decision to stop wearing fake hair because I have three little girls who says they never want to wear fake hair. They believe it's not as beautiful as their own hair. They know their hair can be managed and protected without it, and they prefer it that way. They know what it looks like for someone to have no edges... to see a woman with the saaaaame wig on every day for a straight month... sometimes two. My girls don't understand that... And if I'm being a good enough roll model they'll never have to.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Why it's more than 'Just Hair'
Hello My name is April and I'm The Natural Type.
I call myself that because upon returning natural in my haste to "spread the good news" I ran across women who said they'd rather not "go natural" because they weren't the 'type' to do so. Of course that confused me instantly because your hair isn't something that is given to you by request. Every feature and pore in and on our body is naturally determined by genetics. So the way we're born is indeed the 'type' of person we are. It's like someone who is of Asian decent saying they're not the "Asian Type' or someone who happens to be tall saying they're not the "tall type".
My thought process just couldn't comprehend what I was hearing and so I decided I'd slowly step back and be the change I want to see in this world. I know natural hair isn't a "Black Thing" because ANYONE who refrains from using chemicals on their hair and body can be consider natural. But we've deemed it as our personal definition for a woman with textured hair who embraces and cares for it without the use of relaxers and other harmful chemicals as being "a natural".
That being said I am certainly the type of woman to 'be natural'. I am certainly the type of woman who embraces my kinks, coils and naps. And most importantly I am certainly the type of woman who will openly and lovingly spread the good news to all of my sisters and brothers who are willing to hear and learn from what I have been through on this beautiful and rewarding journey.
For me it will always be more than just hair. How can something carrying my DNA be just an "accessory"? How can I give it so little meaning and respect as to say that I didn't care how my daughters perceived it? Beyond that how can I be a woman of color and not embrace all of me in it's entirety? I have a job to do as a mother, a sister, a friend, and a black woman. I believe a nation of women that can hold their heads up without shame or indifference towards their natural beauty can and will change the strength and prosperity for the betterment of that nations future.
Just imagine... a people that holds no doubt in their beauty... holds no doubt in their natural perfection... holds no doubt in their IDENTITY... Do you know... how unstoppable they'll be?
We are Perfection. Some of us Just don't know it yet.
I call myself that because upon returning natural in my haste to "spread the good news" I ran across women who said they'd rather not "go natural" because they weren't the 'type' to do so. Of course that confused me instantly because your hair isn't something that is given to you by request. Every feature and pore in and on our body is naturally determined by genetics. So the way we're born is indeed the 'type' of person we are. It's like someone who is of Asian decent saying they're not the "Asian Type' or someone who happens to be tall saying they're not the "tall type".
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2X1PReB0KMNgqyZB1q0HgNTbAOSIK2ZRiF1NN8sWsBConeS77LH3LdEjBDcL_-Ej9-rIfFtoG2f0CyyjwSpR9eaT_g-uPpCBzKZRTlK1_H4DU9kE4JkXhGEscmcVu6WC9_GeMiyURwyc/s1600/921500_10151855973258776_1963315515_o.jpg)
That being said I am certainly the type of woman to 'be natural'. I am certainly the type of woman who embraces my kinks, coils and naps. And most importantly I am certainly the type of woman who will openly and lovingly spread the good news to all of my sisters and brothers who are willing to hear and learn from what I have been through on this beautiful and rewarding journey.
For me it will always be more than just hair. How can something carrying my DNA be just an "accessory"? How can I give it so little meaning and respect as to say that I didn't care how my daughters perceived it? Beyond that how can I be a woman of color and not embrace all of me in it's entirety? I have a job to do as a mother, a sister, a friend, and a black woman. I believe a nation of women that can hold their heads up without shame or indifference towards their natural beauty can and will change the strength and prosperity for the betterment of that nations future.
Just imagine... a people that holds no doubt in their beauty... holds no doubt in their natural perfection... holds no doubt in their IDENTITY... Do you know... how unstoppable they'll be?
We are Perfection. Some of us Just don't know it yet.
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